Tough to Love: Saving Avery Read online

  I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. She had nowhere to go and ended up here. It’s not like she could go home to the assholes that called themselves her family. Gathering her belongings, I returned her key to the office and headed home. This was my fault. I did this to her…and now I need to fix it. She expects more from me, and I let her down.

  Chapter 16

  I had to ring the doorbell. I didn’t have a key anymore. It felt weird, almost symbolic, waiting for him to let me back in. I felt like an outsider, like I didn’t belong, and yet I wanted to be here. Without Steel I felt empty. Ever since he found me that day, bartending at Phil’s, I knew he was special. He was the man that sat me out, let me be who I was, and it confused me that he wanted something different today. Why wasn’t I good enough doing the same thing I’d always done.

  He said he wanted more for me, wanted me to reach higher, but I didn’t know if it was for me or if it was for him. I found a new place to work, a cleaner, more respectable bar – but maybe it wasn’t enough. It had to be. If he wanted me, this was who I was. Yes, I went through college and got a degree, but I wasn’t feeling it. I didn’t even know if I wanted another job. Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t, I think my mood changed daily – but he’d have to accept me regardless of what I did, because my identity wasn’t some job.

  When he opened the door, he apologized. “I should have given you your key, I didn’t think.”

  “It’s okay,” I said, a little nervous to enter. I wanted to jump into his arms, but it wasn’t that easy. We had things to work out. The tension was thick. We loved each other, but would it be enough to carry us through?

  “I’m glad you’re home.”

  “Me too,” I walked past him and sat on the edge of the sofa. “Steel, we need to talk about this.”

  “I know,” he said, sitting in a chair caddy corner to the sofa.

  “I want this to work, but something’s broken.”

  He nodded, “We’ll figure it out,” he paused, “together. Don’t leave, Avery, I need you here.”

  Steel needing anything came as a surprise really. He was always so in control, like he could tackle the world with stacks of concrete on his shoulders, a bull pushing through and taking charge. I couldn’t picture him needing someone as simple and as messed up as me.

  “You don’t need me,” I whispered. “You can move mountains without me.”

  “But I can’t undo my broken heart,” he said, his eyes meeting mine. “I love you. I want you beside me. I was a fool to send you away.”

  I looked down, breaking our eye contact. “But you’re not in love with me,” I repeated softly, the words killing me.

  “That’s not true. I was trying to hurt you, and that makes me an ass for sinking that low. Avery, just give us another chance. We need this.”

  I nodded, and sank back into the cushions of the sofa, relieved that whatever had happened between us seemed to have passed. I couldn’t imagine life without Steel, and now I wouldn’t have to.

  Standing up, he sat next to me, letting his hand rest on my knee. “Can you forgive me? I’m sorry I wasn’t more careful with your feelings.”

  “Yeah,” I whispered. “Can you forgive me? I was a bitch.”

  “Yeah,” he said.

  We sat exhausted and worn from the emotions between us. It didn’t lead to incredible make-up sex like so many other people talk about, but there was a tiny spark that had us clasping our hands together tightly, and in that moment sitting on the sofa holding hands felt amazing.

  With his physical therapy starting, now that the cast was coming off, Steel was ready to move again. He knew he wouldn’t be playing as soon as he wanted, but at least it was something. Once the cast came off, it made a huge difference in his demeanor.

  Seeing him climb out of the depression was like recognizing the old Steel of past. I didn’t realize just how heavy the burden of his injury had been. His identity was tied to his career, and if he wasn’t useful he didn’t know if the Red Hawks would keep him. He had no intention of just being a bench warmer.

  It was great to see him coming back to himself, and that lifted me up as well. The mood lightened at home, and we seemed to be back on track. My biggest hurdle now was deciding what I wanted to do with my life. I couldn’t bartend forever. I mean, sure it’s a job and brings in money, but there was more to life – and I needed to decide how I’d be spending mine.

  When human resources from a local company called me on a resume I submitted months before, I got nervous at the thought of interviewing all over again. The last jobs I applied for in corporate environments hadn’t gone over well. I froze up in situations with strangers, a social anxiety that didn’t bring me across in the best light. Sure I could do the actual work, but getting past the interviewer was my biggest challenge apparently.

  Steel was excited for me; we went over possible interview questions, rehearsing what I might say. Maybe I could land this one. Picking out my outfit carefully, I thought maybe this time I’d get it.

  Sitting through the interview, I thought maybe, just maybe it might work out. And then he said the words that took my breath away. “So, Steel Brickman of the Red Hawks, huh?”

  “This interview is over,” I said, standing up. He couldn’t…he wouldn’t…right?

  The entire drive home I fumed over the intrusion into my professional life.

  “Did you set this up,” I confronted him angrily.

  “What does it matter? It’s a job, and one that you wanted. I asked for a favor, it’s part of business.”

  “Steel, you get to live beside me, but you don’t get to live my life. You don’t get to direct it like some stage play director. I’m not taking the job,” I finished.

  “It’s a perfect opportunity, Avery. Don’t spit in the wind.”

  “I want to get a job on my own merits, not based on who my boyfriend is.”

  “I don’t get it, all I did was contact somebody. The interview was up to you.”

  “Steel, if I took that job, I’d always be known as the girl who got hired based on who I knew and not based on my ability. It belittles me in front of other co-workers, and then they’ll start to wonder what other favors I’m getting.”

  “Who’s to say you get a job on your own, that people won’t just assume I had something to do with it?”

  “I’ll know I got there justly.”

  “Stop being such a martyr. It wasn’t even a special job, it was entry level, a chance to get your foot in the door,” he answered.

  “Steel, you get to be part of my home life, part of my love life, but you don’t get to be part of my career. You’ve got to accept this at some point.”

  “I was just trying to fix things for you, make it right. You deserve that job, you’re more than qualified.”

  I sighed, he’d damn well try to rescue every stage of my life – the question was would I let him.

  “No more favors, I get a job on my own merits, promise me.”

  “Fine,” he said, disgruntled but accepting my request. “At least let me take you out to dinner to make it up to you?”

  I nodded, “Only if you promise – no more interfering.”

  “No more interfering,” he said. He meant well, in his eyes he was doing something loving. I was torn between being mad at him for sticking his nose in where it didn’t belong, and appreciating that he loved me enough to want good things to happen.

  I was more determined than ever to prove to him I could land a job. I’d put in extra effort and send another round of resumes out, whatever it took.

  “Take pity on a man with a bum knee,” he smiled, following me into the bedroom to change.

  How could I not laugh? “Fine, you’ve been properly scolded.”

  “I think punishment is in order, like maybe being forced to endure endless, smothering kisses, and maybe even sit on me, and pin me down in order to teach me a lesson. I have the perfect place for you to sit,” he grinned.

  “You’re naughty
,” I laughed.

  “I thought you liked that about me?”

  “I do,” I said, stripping off my blazer, and slowly unbuttoning my blouse. “A girl needs a little extracurricular activity,” I pondered, “maybe I could get some exercise in.”

  “Leave the skirt on, ditch the panties,” he grinned. “You can pretend to be my secretary, taking dictation, get it.”

  “You’re proud of yourself for that little play on words, aren’t you?”

  Steel grinned.

  “You’re such a boy,” I said rolling my eyes.

  I was tired of the hot and cold pattern we’d been in, and was so ready for it to be hot with no forecast of cold.

  When he kissed me, his soft lips on mine, I melted. This was the Steel I fell in love with, the warm man that wanted me, made me feel special, made me feel safe, and was oh so sexy.

  I flashed back to our first kiss. I was shaking inside, wanting him to touch me, and yet afraid of being touched. And yet here we were all this time later, having weathered so much together.

  Steel pulled away only long enough to peel his clothes off. He moved gingerly with his knee, and laid back. Climbing over my lover, we reconnected after what felt like forever.

  His hands played my body like a well-tuned instrument, knowing all of my sensitive spots. I sighed at his touch, and as he caressed my body, I melted into him. His fingers danced across my skin, barely grazing it, and then stopped to tease me as I pressed against him. His hands were magic, and I was his muse.

  Our mouths reconnected, with my breasts pressed against his chest, and with his fingers groping my bottom, I moaned lightly into his mouth.

  With each thrust from below, my fingers dug into him, now holding onto his shoulders, and with a final push my peak crested out of me. Arching my back, my thighs gripping tightly, I held fast to my lover, enjoying the sensation as it rippled through my body.

  Chapter 17

  By the time I finally landed my first job out of college, it felt like forever had passed. It wasn’t fabulous, it wasn’t high-paying, but I got it all on my own. That alone made it feel special. I was in an entry level position for a national landscaping company. You’d have thought I won the lottery with the way I celebrated that day.

  The funny thing is, as much as I wanted that job, I ended up missing bartending. They’re different worlds with different expectations, and different types of co-workers. Either way, it was a step in the right direction, and I think Steel found something gratifying about me settling into a new kind of working environment, even if he didn’t put it that way.

  He was finally making some progress with his knee, and hoped to be given clearance to play sooner than later. He would be out for the season, as much as he’d hoped he’d make it back – and wouldn’t get to play again until the following year. Sure he’d train, sure he’d be there for the games, but until he was fully functioning, he was still sidelined. They paid a lot of money for his contract, and hoped the investment would pay for itself the following year. He hated being a bench warmer.

  When Kira called, Steel wasn’t sure what he thought of the news. She’d met somebody and wanted him to meet the guy. You’d think she said she was moving to Mars by his reaction. I knew nobody would be good enough for her in his eyes, and the thought that there was another man that was a priority in her life was difficult for him to hear. It was a weird dynamic, the relationship they had.

  I think they relied on each other so much through the years, and with the loss of their mother, they never really did well when one moved forward. It’s not that they didn’t want each other to be happy; it was that there was this weird co-dependent relationship between them. No longer being the biggest priority in the other’s life was a change they each had to adjust to. First it was Kira’s turn, learning to accept me into Steel’s life, and now it would be Steel’s turn to accept Kira had somebody special.

  She was going to fly in for a visit, bringing her new beau along. She wanted to stay with us. That was her first mistake. A grown woman sleeping with her boyfriend needs her own private space – especially when her overprotective brother hasn’t come to terms with that fact that they’ll sleeping together, just a few doors down. He ranted on, sounding like some overbearing father, not simply her brother.

  “If she thinks they’re going to sleep together while they’re at my house, she has another thing coming. There’s no way they’re sharing a room,” he went on.

  “She’s an adult, Steel,” I gently prodded.

  He couldn’t see it. She’d always needed him and adult or not, it was still his little sister. It was his job to watch out for her. His job to guide her, because in his eyes he knew what was best for Kira.

  This was going to be interesting. Forget the fact that she’d been dating him for a while back in Seattle, and had been sleeping with him all along.

  Kira’s boyfriend wasn’t who or what Steel expected. In fact, he came as a shock. He wasn’t big and strong, he wasn’t solid, he didn’t have a steady job, and other than the fact that he seemed to treat Kira well, he wasn’t the kind of guy he expected his sister to be with. This wasn’t a man that could support her, take care of her, and battle all of her demons. He was a wishy-washy, slender boy with long hair with no direction. He took odd jobs freelancing, and had some damn artistic quality – and that didn’t spell stability.

  How was he supposed to react? This wasn’t a man Kira could put her future on. Why didn’t she find somebody stronger, more like him? She’d end up supporting him, working her ass off while he flitted around playing in creative ideas for the next twenty years, hoping one might catch. Steel was convinced he’d have to make her see he wasn’t the kind of guy to rely on, not suitable material, not good enough, and no way, no how was Kira wasting more time on this loser.

  That was a fun week, the fighting, the crying, the accusations, but when it came down to it, Kira was her own person, a grown woman, and Steel had to accept her choices. It didn’t matter what he wanted, and he didn’t do well with that. Kira of course swore she’d end up marrying this guy because it was her life, and she knew exactly what she wanted. She didn’t of course.

  The amusing part to me was that they split up when they got to Seattle. She decided he wasn’t for her after all – maybe Steel had more influence in her life than she believed. I knew nobody would ever measure up to her brother in her eyes…even though she kept trying to avoid seeing that, it would hit her eventually. He was her hero, and how can someone compare with that? He was the one who stepped in, taking even more of a parental role with her parents no longer there, and she valued his opinion more than she wanted to admit.

  The one good thing that came out of that visit was that Kira had finally accepted me in Steel’s life. We’d been together long enough that she saw I wasn’t a passing phase and we were good for each other. I don’t think I’d call her my biggest fan, but she saw our love was genuine. I took it for what it was.

  Either way, I envied the way they cared about each other. My family was a distant wound from my past. I moved forward, but some days felt insanely alone. If Steel hadn’t come into my life, I’m not sure what I’d be doing. Would I still be burying my pain at Phil’s, working in a dark, shady environment and living in a rat hole of a room with a bare bulb and a run-down mattress? I want to believe I would have found my way out on my own, but truth be told Steel helped me find myself again.

  He made a difference in my world, and made me a part of his life. He rescued me from myself more than anything – because I’m pretty sure I would have gone down a path of self-destruction otherwise. I knew that rescuing me healed him as well. He needed to save someone, so I’m just grateful that he chose me that night at the bar. Together we’d figure things out.

  The day he asked me to be his wife, I knew we’d made it. We’d gotten to the point of trusting one another with our lives – the good, the bad, and the ugly. There was something comforting knowing that the person you love more than life its
elf would be around forever. I felt safe with Steel, desired and loved. We were in no hurry since we’re both still young, but we knew our future was together. We’d get our happily ever after some day, and for now we’re doing just fine.

  The end.

  Thank you for choosing an Ava Catori story. If you liked this, you might also like Shady Cove: New Girl in Town (New Adult Romance). You can find all of my titles at your favorite ebook retailer today.

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