More Than I Wanted Read online

  More Than I Wanted

  Secret Desires

  Ava Catori

  Copyright 2012, Ava Catori

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without prior permission of the copyright holder.

  This story contains sexually explicit material. Every character involved in sexual situations in this story is intended to be 18 years of age or older, whether they are explicitly described as such or not.

  Cover design by Aubrey Watt

  Chapter 1

  I dove for the ball thinking I was being sporty and awesome, but when I landed on my face I didn’t feel so graceful anymore. The volleyball slammed into the net never making it over, and I planted my face to the ground.

  My team was surrounding me, “Are you okay?”

  It was my pride that got me off the ground, and biting my cheek that kept me from crying. As soon as they got back into the game, I excused myself to go get ice. That’s when the tears started. The shock of the moment wore off, and I was left with pain.

  “Let’s get you some ice,” Heather chimed in, guiding me to the kitchen.

  We were enjoying the last of summer, having a barbecue with some friends, when I made my fabulous move on the volleyball court. Well, basically it was the lawn with a net set up, but you know what I mean.

  “Fudge, it hurts so badly,” I said, trying to keep the flow of bad words that wanted to come out to a minimum.

  She grabbed a bag of frozen peas and wrapped them in a kitchen towel. Handing them to me, I placed the moldable ice bag on my nose and face.

  “I hope I didn’t break it,” I groaned, not wanting a bump to adorn my nose.

  Scott found his way into the kitchen, “You okay, Tiger? Nice dive.”

  “I’ll survive,” I said, trying to act tough.

  “I’m going to make a quick beer run. Austin and Jake are on the way over, and they’re ready to let loose.” Scott and Heather had been married for awhile now, and were just about the cutest couple.

  “Okay,” she said, turning her attention back to me. “I was hoping they’d make it. Austin is the one I was telling you about.”

  “Are you still trying to set me up? Seriously, give it a rest,” I said playfully, certain Austin would be another of her “he’s perfect for you” pitches. Not that there weren’t some nice people along the way, but it was getting old. We just had different opinions of what was good for me. I hate to say it, but I need chemistry. If there isn’t a spark, I wasn’t interesting in kindling the fire hoping to make a fake one.

  She rolled her eyes, “I know what you’re thinking, but this is Austin, you know the soldier I told you about. Jake and Austin just got back from deployment awhile back. He’s not looking for a lifetime career – I know that’s something you were worried about with some of Scott’s other friends.”

  “Heather, I love you, really I do, but we have different ideas of what’s best for me,” I finally sighed.

  “Fine, be that way. Just know Jake is in a relationship and off limits. Austin, on the other hand is free game, and he’s a site for sore eyes,” her tone went up playfully, “you’ll thank me for introducing you,” she finished.

  Shaking my head, “Aren’t I a peach, a swollen nose, red and rosy from slamming my face on the ground, and you want to introduce me to Prince Charming now? You’re never going to stop, are you?”

  “You know me so well,” she grinned gleefully. “Anyway, you’ll thank me.”

  Heather and I became fast friends working side by side the last year. We knew right away we’d hit it off, and it was nice to have a best friend again. Her husband Scott was in the military, as was half the town. It was a way of life here with the base not far away. Our cubicles are a little farther apart these days, but we’re still in the same office.

  During this short year, she’d all ready set me up with five or six guys. It’s not that they weren’t nice or attractive; it’s just that we didn’t click. I think she had other ideas of what I wanted in a relationship, and I kept trying to let her know I’d find my own guys, but she never gave up. I could only laugh, because she got so much joy out of the matchmaking process. It’s not like I had anything better to do anyway.

  We headed back out to join the others after a solid twenty minute icing and some girl talk. Scott was due back shortly from his beer run, and the party was going strong. There were easily thirty people talking, eating, playing ball, and hanging out. What were one or two more? Jake and Austin showed up awhile later, and it was obvious everybody knew them.

  There were hugs and smartass comments, while laughter roared loudly across the backyard. They’d gone through their last tour, had their reintegration period, and were finally on their block leave ready for some fun.

  I didn’t know which was which, but damn, one of them held my attention. As they made their rounds, I finally got an introduction. I couldn’t look away from one of the guys. He was H-O-T!

  Heather walked over with me, “Austin, Jake, so glad you boys could make it. This is my friend Kate. We work together,” she said. Turning she said, “Kate, this is Jake, and this is Austin.” I could almost feel her smile.

  Wow. That’s Austin. Nice. My head couldn’t think clearly, I stood looking at the man before me praying I didn’t make a fool of myself, something I did well on most occasions. “Hi,” I said blushing. I felt like a schoolgirl. Hello spark, hell, you’d better call the fire department, my entire body was on fire.

  There was something about his sweet smile, a little pouty, sensual, and it screamed sexy. His dark, cropped hair was still military short, and his eyes, oh my goodness his eyes. I could get lost in them for days. I couldn’t take in enough details about him fast enough.

  “Nice to meet you,” they both responded in unison. We made small talk until Scott came in to steal them away, and in that moment I turned to look at Heather. She knew immediately I was smitten, absolutely in full blown lust. Maybe it was how my eyes went wide, or the huge smile I couldn’t wipe off my face, but she knew. She grinned at her victory, and then drew the conversation back with a simple, told you so.

  We settled back into lawn chairs under a shade tree, watching the volleyball game continue. When the new guys joined in I couldn’t take my eyes off of Austin. After their shirts came off, it only hooked me more. I knew drooling wouldn’t be appropriate, so I kept it to a minimum.

  Austin had ink on his arms and his body screamed soldier – a solid chest, broad shoulders, and pumped biceps. It was embarrassing how hard I was falling – I had it bad. I could barely look away. His dog tags jingled as he jumped for the ball, spiking it down onto the other side of the net. I wanted him in that instant, I wanted to lick his entire body from top to bottom, and wanted to feel his hard cock penetrating me fast and deep.

  The problem is that it looked like he barely flinched when he met me. I don’t think he felt the same spark that I did. I was just some girl, not someone on his radar. I wasn’t sure how to change that, but I made it a goal to spend a little face time with him at some point during the picnic. I wanted his number, and needed him to call me – now. I wanted to take him inside and do naughty things to his body, but my reality was so obviously one-sided, because the only thing he seemed to care about at the moment was beer and volleyball.

  My long, dark hair was tied up in a loose pony tail. I was mostly make-up free after cleaning up and icing my face, and my t-shirt was stained from grass after my fall. I was hardly at my best, and it hit me hard when I realized I wanted him and he barely noticed me. It’s not like I’m stunning made up, but usually I clean up a little better than this.

  Groaning, “Not a great first impression. I look like crap,” I whined.

  “Give it time, he need
s to let loose for awhile anyway. Once that’s out of his system, then I’ll set you up. He’s had a rough year. I’ll broach the topic with Scott when the time is right,” she said after standing up. “I better make the rounds again and act like a host. Truth be told, I’d be happy to sit in the shade and have a few more beers with you, but I should at least mingle more,” she said. Most of the group here were Scott’s buddies today, but she still felt obligated to be a good host. “I’ll be back,” she said pasting on a smile.

  I couldn’t look away, I was still watching him play ball, and he caught me looking when he glanced over. I blushed, quickly turning my head. I hope I wasn’t obvious – great. I went into daydream mode and pictured him coming over and sitting with me, but it wasn’t reality. He was still on the playing field, aggressively going after the ball every time it came near him – only he got it over the net, unlike me.

  Chapter 2

  Standing talking to Scott, he plated up a hot dog for me. I set off in search of ketchup and some chips. Heather set up a station earlier with plates and side dishes on a picnic table off to the side. My back was turned when I heard his voice, “I’m more of a mustard guy myself,” he said as I was squeezing a red line of ketchup onto my dog.

  “There’s no accounting for taste,” I teased, not exactly sure who was talking to me. Spinning around, I came face to face with Austin. I almost dumped my plate in that instant, but caught it before my hot dog could roll off. “Whoa!” In some dynamic twist and grab, I saved my plate and food before it could hit the ground.

  “Hi,” I was juggling my stuff and wrangling the hot dog back into the roll. “Austin, right?”

  “Yeah,” he smiled. “Just wanted to grab a handful of chips,” he said, and then turned to walk away.

  Just like that. I was awestruck again. I wanted him, crap did I want him. My loins came to life around the guy, but he was all ready walking away. My animal magnetism obviously wasn’t working.

  “Austin!” I called out, desperately trying to think of something to say.

  He turned around, a few feet away now, “Yeah?”

  “Nice to meet you,” and she falls flat on her face for the second time today. I kicked myself for not being quicker to think of something funny and delightful, something that would draw him back to me like glue.

  “You too,” he said turning away, heading to a group of guys to laugh and catch up some more.

  Well, it was nice while it lasted. He’s obviously not going to be interested – just enjoy him from afar.

  Heather found me, “I’ve done my good host bit; I’m golden.” She sat down and once again we rambled about nonsense while enjoying some grub under the big tree offering the most shade.

  I turned to her, “I totally blew it. I wanted to be all cute and witty, but I had nothing,” I explained about my earlier hot dog encounter.

  “Oh, you have it bad,” she laughed. “I’ll see if I can accelerate things. I’m such a good friend,” she mused. “Besides, you don’t want him yet. He needs some downtime. Let him get that stuff out of his system first. Trust me, when Scott gets back after a deployment, it takes awhile for us to work through those bits and pieces. You’ll have plenty of time later – when it will count.”

  “He’s so…” my jaw was open wide, full of expression when who should walk up, of course, again looking my best.

  “Heather, I was hoping I could steal Scott away next weekend. He says it’s up to you.” Austin was standing there looking incredible. I tried not to drool.

  “The entire weekend,” she winced, “really?”

  “Be a pal,” he coaxed, “I just want to help my little sister get moved into her new place at college. I told her I’d send a bunch of guys to help her get settled.”

  Heather rolled her eyes, “Fine, but that only takes one day.”

  “She’s in California,” he grimaced.

  “What?”

  Austin laughed, “Just playing. I was kind of hoping to get some one on one time with him. I could use someone to talk to if you don’t mind, you know, guy stuff.”

  “You okay?” Heather asked, concerned.

  He nodded, “Just the usual crap after a tour.”

  “Okay, you can have him, but stay out of trouble,” she teased.

  “Thanks,” he said sincerely, and about to turn away.

  “Austin,” she said, stopping him in his track, “could you help my friend Katie here. She was saying she wanted to…” she stumbled, and I watched her revive in an instant. “She wants to learn how to spike a volleyball over the net, but is having trouble not hitting the net.”

  “Could be a height thing, and you need to be close,” he said.

  “Show her how,” she nudged.

  “Sure, sure thing, just give me a minute,” he said. “I’ll be back,” he called over his shoulder.

  I looked at Heather. I didn’t know whether to thank her or smack her. She recognized the look.

  I watched him walk back over to Scott and pat him across the back, “You’re in,” he said. “Next weekend you’re mine.”

  A few minutes later, he was heading back to us, and my stomach knotted up. I had nerves, butterflies roaming free in my belly, and swallowed hard as he came over.

  “Ready,” he said, smiling down at me. That sultry, sexy, smile – I’m in trouble.

  I put my beer down and stood, “I guess so,” my voice was softer than usual. Oh my gosh, find your voice – my heavy flirt mode wanted to turn on automatically, and I didn’t want it to. Not now, it wasn’t the time.

  I followed him to the net. Austin went to the pole, picking up the volleyball sitting at the base and brought it over.

  “I’m a little nervous, I took a face plant before you got here,” I admitted. “I dove for the ball, and landed quite elegantly on the ground, hence my red nose.”

  “Well, in this case we’re jumping up, not down,” he soothed. “You should be fine.”

  I watched as his body maneuvered, tossing up the ball, and then jumping up, smacking the ball down. I couldn’t look away. He was art in motion. Holy cow, I wanted him – now. I was almost embarrassed by this new sudden crush over a cute guy syndrome. I hoped my thoughts weren’t too obvious, because my hormones were raging, gushing through me so fast it was nuts.

  As he explained the angle of my hand and where to hit the ball, I watched his lips, his mouth, and his eyes as he talked, and melted into a small puddle on the ground. When I regained my composure, I nodded and gave it a shot. I could get the angle, but truth be told, I couldn’t get the height on a jump. I thanked him for his time, not wanting it to end, but I couldn’t hold him there forever with a stinkin’ volleyball. I was kicking myself for the lack of conversation, but I couldn’t find my interesting and compelling voice. I simply nodded and smiled too much with him standing beside me. I wore a goofy grin, and hoped he didn’t see me as a complete idiot.

  “Thanks for your time, I appreciate it. I think I’m just not able to get the height. Don’t let me keep you from your friends,” I said, trying to gracefully exit without making a bigger fool of myself.

  “Anytime,” he said, dropping the ball and heading back to his friends. It appeared my feelings of lust were unrequited. At least he was nice to look at.

  I dropped back into the chair next to Heather. “He’s not interested, I can tell,” I groaned. “Either way, thanks for trying.”

  “Sorry, Boo, Maybe we’ll give it another shot later. He’s got a lot on his mind right now,” she soothed. “He’s really a great guy; the two of you would be cute together.”

  I sighed, “Yeah, I wouldn’t mind getting naked with him.”

  Heather laughed, “Yeah, he’s a looker. The kicker is he has a great personality too. Jake’s another nice guy, but he’s sort of a player. He has a girlfriend, but I have a feeling he takes liberties there, if you know what I mean. I don’t think Austin would be a cheater.”

  “Ew, yeah, no cheaters, thank you. I’m not one of those girl
s who can tolerate that or turn a blind eye.”

  “Anyway, what’s going on with Stacy?” The chatter continued, and we covered topics from work to every other topic under the sun. I was grateful they had a spare room I could crash in, because I had way too much to drink.

  The group rotated designated driver duties, so as people were ready to filter out, he made sure that everyone got home safely, whether driving them or calling cabs.

  I stripped down to my panties and put on a fresh t-shirt that Heather offered. Climbing into bed in the spare bedroom, I thought of Austin. After a long day of laughter, sunshine, and way too much beer and food, I was ready for a good sleep.

  I drifted off to visions of the good looking solider, the latest guy to hold my interest. There was something about him, a confidence and swagger, but hidden beneath those layers a look of vulnerability in his eyes. He was gorgeous, but I also wanted to take him in my arms and pull him close to me, telling him it would all be okay. I’m not sure what triggered that feeling, but while he was beautiful to look at, there was also a distance in his eyes. He just didn’t seem interested in me at all.

  Chapter 3

  “Come over next weekend, it’s all I’m saying. Just be there, you know, dolled up a little bit, and when he stops to pick up Scott – oh what a coincidence you’re here,” she planned.

  “It feels lame. Can’t you just give him my number, and if he’s interested he can call?”

  “Sure I can do that, but let him see you at your best,” she coaxed. “Trust me, you’re a hottie, and you should let him see that side of you. I’m not saying you aren’t naturally beautiful, but you weren’t able to present your best side the other day after getting banged up.”

  I groaned, “It feels desperate.”

  “Desperate, or as I see it smart,” Heather laughed, “You decide.”

  We talked about what I should wear, so that I didn’t look like I was trying too hard, but allowed me to show off my curves and best angle. We finally settled on a pair of faded jeans and a snug fitting shirt that showcased my assets quite nicely. A pair of boots rounded out the look, and knowing I’d only have a moment or two, I wouldn’t look like I’d overdone it.