Behind Closed Doors Read online

  As his mouth came to my own, I parted my lips and welcomed him back into my life. Our kisses grew more heated and as his mouth moved away from my own, he followed my jawline down to my neck and layered sweet, soft kisses on me. Milking my skin with his mouth, I arched my back feeling a tingling sensation of electricity running through me. I was ready, my body was ready, and together we’d become one.

  Alex’s hands circled my shoulders and then drew a gentle path down my arms, as his lips played at the curve of my neck. My eyes closed, and I got lost in the delicious fire rolling through my body. Tipping my head to the side, I purred as he nuzzled into me. Soft moans escaped my lips, and I was putty in his hands.

  Slowly his fingers found the buttons on my shirt and with each single button he undid, I knew we were that much closer to heaven. As he slid the shirt over my shoulders and down my arms, I let it fall to the floor. His mouth was moving fast, and found the curve of my breast, pushing out near the top of my bra. Teasing me, he pulled the fabric back and let his fingers and tongue play at the edges of the material.

  I reached around to unhook the restraint, and let my bra drop down. Standing partially naked before Alex, he wasted no time letting me know how much he wanted to be there. His words, cooing, soft, sweet, and tender – his hands, his mouth – I was dizzy bathing in the sensations of lust.

  His lips on my nipple, and his warm mouth against my skin left me breathless. I felt the dampness between my legs, and ached for him. Tugging at the edge of his shirt, I helped him pull it over his head. Pressing my breasts to his chest, we stood locked in an embrace for a moment.

  Alex gently parted from me, and went back to pleasuring my body. As his mouth reconnected to my breast, his hands unbuttoned my slacks, and as we maneuvered them down, I suddenly felt naked and vulnerable. With my slacks bunched around my feet, and my panties damp from my arousal, I pulled away for a moment.

  “If we do this,” I started to stammer, “Will you be mine, or will you go away again, realizing you still want to travel?”

  “I’m not going anywhere unless you’re with me,” he confided. “I need you in my life,” he whispered, quelling my fears, and returning to his earlier actions.

  Stepping out of my slacks, I pushed them aside with my foot. I watched as he unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, and started to slide them down. He was art in motion. His body was muscled and strong, and as he undressed and I stood in my panties, we knew there was no stopping this train.

  His navy boxer briefs hugged him in all the right ways, and as he stood there, his arousal was obvious. His underwear couldn’t hide the fact that his erection was desperately trying to escape.

  I smiled, and then slid my panties off. As Alex removed his own, we climbed onto my bed and made sweet passionate love. Feeling him penetrate my opening, and thrusting inside of me, I swear I saw stars, and as his mouth came down on mine our kiss said more than our words could at that moment.

  We were one, bonding in the most intimate way. As we reached our sexual peak, I clung tightly to his body, feeling the wave of orgasm rush through my body. He’d taken me to a primal place I needed to go with him.

  As we drifted on the high of our love, we curled into each other. Alex’s fingers played in my hair. “I love you, Elle,” he whispered in my ear, his warm breath on me.

  “I love you too, Alex,” I said, more content that I’d been in ages. I needed this – and for the first time in longer than I could remember, I felt secure in the knowledge that he was here to stay. “I think we’re doing things backwards,” I smiled.

  “Says who?” Alex broached, “Let’s make our own rules,” he grinned, pulling me closer to him.

  “Like invite you into my bed before we’re officially dating again?” I laughed.

  “Oh, we’re officially dating again; I decided that back in Italy. I just didn’t know if you’d take me back.”

  “You’ve got my heart, you never lost it,” I said, admitting my truth. “The night of the accident, I knew when I saw you, there was no doubt.”

  He leaned over and kissed my forehead. “I’ve been in love with you for way too long. I just wasn’t sure what I needed. You were off limits though.”

  “Really?”

  “Yep, standing by your side, you had this quiet grace. I remember when you came inside, after Harry’s mistress left out the front door, I watched you walk down the hallway. You’d just come in and pulled your shoes off, and I wanted to pull you into my arms and tell you I wouldn’t treat you that way,” he paused, “but of course I couldn’t. You didn’t belong to me, you were married to another man, and I had to respect those boundaries.”

  “I didn’t know,” I said, “I wouldn’t have guessed.”

  “No more guessing,” he answered, “now you know. I love you, Elle.”

  I was relaxed, pressed against my lover, and realized my life was about to change. We were committed to one another, and would be moving forward again as a couple. What that meant for us, I had no idea. I didn’t have illusions of marriage and babies, but I did have visions of being with Alex for many years to come. I hoped he felt the same way.

  “What will you do now?” I asked, realizing he’d left his job to travel.

  “I’ve got time to fall back into work,” he said relaxed. “I’ve got investments, money tucked aside. I may be able to squeeze back into my old work place as well. I’ve got a lot of good contacts at the agency.”

  Listening to him talk, my head now on his chest, I felt a sense of calm. He had a certain confidence that was reassuring.

  Chapter 9

  Alex found another position within the same security detail he worked with previously, and fell back into his regular routine. Things were going well, and we’d finally done things right, dating like a regular couple. I just didn’t see it coming. How could I? I think we were both shell shocked when the news hit.

  Harry had suffered a fall, and was left in a coma after hitting his head on the sidewalk. They were discussing the decision to possibly take him off of life support, and as the news spread a debate rose up.

  I sat stunned watching the news. I didn’t know what I felt. I wasn’t still in love with the man, but I didn’t want him to die either. How did I not know? His parents didn’t inform me. Why would they, we’re divorced, and yet seeing it on the news like everyone else stung.

  Sitting in front of the television, Alex saw the color drain from my face. “I’m so sorry,” he said, turning to me. “Are you okay?”

  “I don’t know,” I said, staring at the television. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel.”

  I wanted to see him, be there, and yet I didn’t. It was confusing, not knowing how I felt. I sat in a vulnerable place, wanting him to be okay.

  “Whatever you’re feeling is natural, so don’t try to judge those thoughts.”

  “I just never thought he might not be here,” I said. “He’s too young.”

  Alex wrapped his arm over my shoulder. “It’s okay to be confused, or sad, or even have feelings about him. He was a big part of your life.”

  “It feels weird talking to you about it,” I said, looking at him. “I mean, you know we were married and all, but it’s just weird.”

  “Do you want some time alone?”

  “I think I want to see him, and yet I know I wouldn’t be welcome at the hospital. I’m not sure how to process the news.”

  “Why don’t I head home, and let you have some time alone so you can work through this. If you’d prefer, I can stay. I’m not sure which will help you more.”

  “You’re sweet,” I said, leaning into Alex. “I don’t know what I want. I mean, he’s not a part of my life anymore, but I don’t want this. I don’t want him to die.”

  He squeezed my shoulder gently, his arm still draped over me. “Do you want to be alone?”

  “I’m not sure,” I said staring ahead. “I feel a little lost.”

  “You’re going to need some time,” he said standing up.
“I’ll check in with you later.”

  “Do you mind?” It’s like he knew what I needed more than I did.

  “Not at all, it’s a lot to absorb.”

  I got lost in the two sides of the coin, and couldn’t look away from the debate on a news station. It pained me to hear it, but then my own mind wrapped around it. If I was still married to him, what would I do? I kept coming back to the words “quality of life”, and yet the thought of turning off life support overwhelmed me. The thing is, it wasn’t my decision to make, and as sad as I was for him, I was grateful it didn’t fall on my shoulders. It was more decision than I could handle.

  I finally turned off the television and sat in the quiet of my living room. I played back our relationship from beginning to end, and then tucked it away in a box in my mind. I mourned for what we had, what we used to be, and for his current situation. It seemed like a lifetime ago, and yet it really wasn’t that long ago.

  When Alex checked in later that evening, I thanked him for giving me time. I knew I’d need another day or so to process all my feelings, but I liked that he was there for me. He patiently sat on the phone as I talked about my past. It felt odd sharing little details, but he knew I had to find my closure – it was the only way I’d make peace with what was happening.

  I was sad when I heard the news that Harry had passed. His parents finally made the decision to remove the life support, and as his body shut down, Harry Michaels became someone that I used to know. His life was no more.

  Chapter 10

  My schedule was hectic. I was moving through finals for my semester, so my head was buried in my books and notes. Time was passing, and the more time we spent together, the more I grew attached to Alex. I saw us having a life together, and the possibilities were endless. My main focus was to finish school and start a career. Alex on the other hand hinted that he wanted more than to just continue on this path. He had bigger goals, and that included making me his wife. He wanted a family.

  I wasn’t ready to move that fast. I’d been through one marriage, and wasn’t sure I was ready for a second. He didn’t come out and ask me yet, but he was hinting at the possibility. I think he was feeling me out, and I didn’t have the heart to tell him I had different visions of our future.

  I saw us building our careers, not having a family, and some day traveling together – maybe finish that trip he started, but this time together. His visions included children, more than one or two. With a family, how would I focus on my career?

  I wanted to help battered women put their lives back together. I wanted to do pro-bono work, and I wanted to find my identity, my place in the world. It’s not that I didn’t think children would be a wonderful addition to our family if we wed; I just wasn’t sure how to fit in all of the pieces.

  The more we discussed our future, the more we realized we were at a divide. We wanted different things, all while wanting to stay together. What did that mean for our relationship? Were we simply two people that wanted to be together due to a mutual attraction, or did we have unified goals we would work towards? Everything became clouded, and I began to question our path. Was this meant to be, or was this simply a short term relationship that would launch us in two different directions?

  I think the more we talked about it, we saw something we didn’t want to see. We finally got to the point where we started to avoid the topic. Our futures, our choices – they weren’t the same. Now what? Do we go our own ways, live our own lives and dreams, or do we find compromise and stay together?

  Alex stopped talking about marriage and children, and I stopped inviting him over as often as I used to. I was torn, told him I was busy, and in truth I was. I had exams to get through, but I was also scared.

  I didn’t want to lose Alex, but we had very different ideas of what our future would be. I wasn’t sure we could compromise without losing who we were, or what we wanted in our lives. We were left divided, uncertain what to do.

  The answer came from Alex. I didn’t expect it.

  “Elle, I’ve done a lot of soul searching, and we need to talk.”

  My heart was broken before he could get out his words. I wasn’t ready to split and go our own ways. I loved him, and yet…

  “I’d rather be with you than without you, and if that means we do things your way, then that means I compromise. If you decide you want children at some point, then we have children. If it’s your career you want to dive into, then I’ll support you one hundred percent. I’ve put a lot of time and thought into this, and I just can’t imagine not having you in my life.”

  I felt a weight lift off of my shoulders, and when he dropped to one knee, I felt the tears welling up inside. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a ring – a gorgeous solitaire diamond sparkled in the light.

  I was overwhelmed in the most wonderful way. I hadn’t expected this, and didn’t know where we were headed. I was terrified I might lose him, and now this. I loved Alex, and was crushed at the thought of us parting ways. I was incredibly grateful he’d come to the same conclusion – we belonged together.

  “Elle, would you do me the honor of being my wife?”

  Looking at Alex, I was speechless. He took me by surprise, I thought he was about to end things. Yet here we were, and he just asked me to marry him! I couldn’t stop crying, the fear of losing Alex dissipated and all that was left was our future – together.

  I was nodding, crying, laughing, “Yes, Alex, yes!”

  The smile that spread across his face matched my own. Taking me into his arms, he wrapped me up and covered me in sweet kisses. “I’m so thrilled, I was nervous to ask you.”

  I caught myself for a second, before I got swept away in the joy. “Alex, are you certain? I know how much you wanted children, and I can’t promise anything. With school, a career, and even getting older,” I hesitated, wanting to make sure he understood.

  “I’m sure. I can’t imagine my life without you in it. There’s no hurry, but I want you to be my wife one day.” His words were soft and genuine, and I only had to ask once. I saw the happiness, in his blue eyes; he meant what he was saying.

  Bringing my mouth to his, we shared a tender kiss. “Come to bed with me, Mr. Stone” I smiled. I felt naughty and loving. I wanted to be intimate with my future husband, and had missed this feeling between us. The last few weeks had been difficult, and I was relieved to put the worry behind me.

  “Okay, future Mrs. Stone,” he said, and then corrected, “or keep your name, or hyphenate, whatever works for you. Look Elle, I don’t care what you want to do, as long as you’ll be my wife.”

  “Oh, you’re not getting off that easy, I’d love to wear your name,” I grinned.

  “I’d like nothing better,” he cooed, his hands reaching for the edge of my shirt, as we walked.

  Stripping down to nothing, we climbed into bed and snuggled against one another, sharing kisses and reveling in the moment. We’d be husband and wife one day, and nothing in the world would make me happier. Mrs. Stone, I smiled playing with the words in my head. So maybe I’m a little old fashioned that way, there’s nothing wrong with that.

  Alex’s mouth lured me into a delicious state of satisfaction. Sliding down between my legs, my future husband pleasured me, pressing his mouth to my body. With his tongue hitting all my sweet spots, I arched my back and moaned with release. My breathing ragged, I pulled him back up to me, “If you keep doing things like that, I’ll never let you leave,” I laughed.

  “That’s my evil plan; I’ll keep you sexually satisfied until you cave to my ways.”

  Laughing, “It just might work.”

  Our bodies connected, and as he climbed over me, I parted my legs to let him in. As he penetrated my opening, I gasped and held fast. Watching him over me, there was nobody I’d ever wanted more. Wrapping my legs up and around him, I pulled him closer, deeper, and panting with each push, each thrust, I cried out with orgasm.

  As Alex reached his peak, we spooned together and talked s
oftly, enjoying the afterglow of our sexual encounter. “Alex, I love you,” I whispered, feeling his chest pressed to my back.

  His hand stroked my body and followed the curve of my waist before resting on my hip. “I love you too, Elle.”

  It was in the quiet moments like these that I felt the happiest. With Alex by my side, I knew I could conquer the world and reach my dreams. If some of those dreams changed over time, so be it. Life was always an adventure with him.

  Chapter 11

  On hearing my name I stood and walked across the stage. I’d done it; I’d gotten my Juris Doctor’s degree. It took a lot of hard work and determination, used up almost every bit of my time, but I’d reached my goal.

  I reached down instinctively and let my hand rest on my belly. Thankfully the gown covered my rounder shape. I’d finished just in time; our daughter was due to arrive sooner than later. It wasn’t planned, but I couldn’t be happier. I thought hearing the news that I was pregnant would crush my dreams, but there was no reason I couldn’t do both things. Plenty of women have a family and a career, and the joyful expression on Alex’s face when we found out was more than I could have imagined.

  Studying for my BAR exam is going to be more challenging, but I’ll get there. With Alex by my side, I know my life is following the right path, wherever that should lead.

  I never expected to be where I am, and didn’t expect Alex to be a part of my life. When he stood beside me silent and strong as my protector, I knew I could rely on him. Today as my husband, I know that very same thing.

  THE END

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