Hannah (The Hawthorne Sisters) Read online

  Back outside, Bev was now sitting in the driveway, her head in her hands.

  “Doc Wilkins is on the way,” she called out.

  Beverly was in no condition to be driving, that became obvious. Bryce sat by her side. “It could have been worse, or you could have hurt somebody. This has to stop.”

  “I just misjudged,” she said, and then complained of a headache.

  “The doctor’s on his way. Bev, please. It’s time to get help.”

  She looked down, not wanting to hear her brother’s words.

  Hannah stood awkwardly, not sure what to do or say. When the town doctor arrived to check Beverly over, they took her inside. The rain had settled to nothing more than a slight misting and spitting. Hannah went into the barn and got some chains. Tossing them over the back of a tractor, she started it up.

  By the time Bryce came back outside, Hannah was towing Beverly’s truck off to the side and out of the way. Watching her work, seeing her jump into action, he smiled. She was an amazing woman.

  Hopping off the tractor, she saw Bryce. “I hope it’s okay,” shoving her hands in her jean pockets.

  “More than okay. I appreciated the help.”

  “How is she?”

  “She’ll be okay.” He was more embarrassed that she was a drunken mess and Hannah had seen it. She wouldn’t want to get tangled up in a family with burdens and secrets. Beverly was a town drunk, a troublemaker, and Bryce’s responsibility half the time. It was growing old, but as much as he thought he could cut the ties, she was the only family he had left.

  His parents had died years before in a tragic fire. Beverly blamed herself, having pulled the battery out of the smoke detector. The battery was low and beeping non-stop one night while everyone was sleeping. She climbed on a chair and yanked the battery out. She forgot to replace it. Three days later, Bev and Bryce were at the fair that came through once a year. They were oblivious to the fire that broke out at their home, taking their mother and father with them. The barn remained, but most of the house was gone. Faulty wiring, the smoke took their parents before they could get out. They’d fallen asleep and were napping on the sofa, unaware that the house was burning around them.

  Bryce was just over eighteen and took on the care of his younger sister. Insurance paid for the rebuild, and the two lived in a trailer on the lot until the new home was ready. Beverly was never the same, and Bryce blocked out whatever feelings he could. Anytime he thought back to the night, the mix of guilt was too strong, wondering if he could have saved them if he was there. Beverly drowned her guilt in a bottle, while Bryce shut his feelings down completely.

  Beverly looked at her brother as he came back to see her. Doc Wilkins gave her instructions for rest, and hesitantly gave her a prescription for pain meds. There would be no refills, and it was only a week’s worth. He made that clear. He knew she had a problem with substance abuse. She was cleared of a concussion, but would be stiff and sore for the next few days.

  She said nothing, seeing the disappointment in her brother’s eyes.

  “When will it be enough, Bev?”

  She looked down, embarrassed that yet again she was the thorn in his side. “I don’t know,” she finally mumbled.

  “I can’t keep doing this.” Bryce sat beside her. “I can’t live my life for you. I can’t always save you.”

  Beverly exhaled and rubbed her temples. “I’m not ready,” she whispered.

  “When will you be? You’re going to end up killing yourself.”

  “I deserve no less.”

  “Then get it over with,” he yelled at his sister. “If you’re going to do it, just get it over with. Stop dragging me through the mud. Stop punishing me for trying to help you.”

  The hot tears fell silently. “I don’t deserve to live.”

  “So you want to leave me alone in the world? You’re all I have left.”

  She closed her eyes. “I’m sorry, Bryce.”

  “Bullshit. If you were sorry, you’d get help.”

  She nodded. “Okay.”

  “Bev? What are you saying?”

  She choked back the words, and finally spit them out. “I’ll get help.”

  “Oh my god,” he whispered, never thinking he’d hear those words from his sister’s mouth. “You’re not shitting me?”

  She shook her head. Her anger at Doc Wilkins when he’d only give her a week’s worth of pills told her more than she needed to know. She wanted more, because maybe the high was better, maybe she’d be able to escape. It was taking more and more booze to give her the same feeling, and he had her number. He held back. He barely wanted to give her the seven. She was seething inside, not thankful that he’d come out to help her, but angry that he held back. She needed those pills, needed them…and she knew. She thought it would take longer, but seeing her brother and realizing she was all he had left, the words struck her hard. It was time to get better. It was time to heal. She was terrified of facing her feelings sober, but it was time.

  Hannah drove back to her house, parking her old truck on the drive. She sat in place, her hands still on the wheel. She was lost in thought, replaying the moment in the barn over and over in her mind. She almost didn’t want to get out of her truck, afraid the moment would escape her. Finally climbing down, she headed inside.

  His lips and mouth were so warm, and the way his arms held her… she wanted him to do it again.

  Hannah found her mother in the kitchen, peeling carrots and potatoes for tonight’s roast. “I’ll do that.” She took the peeler from her mom, and relieved her of the task. “How’s Sarah doing?”

  “I’m worried about her. Her teacher called. She’s obviously going to pass the year, but she said the last few months, she just hasn’t been herself. Not only her grades, but she’s detaching from group activities as well. She suggested I bring her to a grief counselor.”

  “What do you think?”

  “It’s been a while. I thought time would help. At first I thought something at school was causing it, but she finally admitted she’s been feeling lost.”

  “A counselor is good, Mom. We all work through grief at our own pace.”

  “I guess. I can never tell how Maggie’s feeling, because she’s such a quiet girl. You were always so easy to read, you’ve always been vocal, boisterous, and independently strong. Allie… I’m worried about her lately, too. She’s moving too fast with this Richard character. Did she tell you she’s thinking about moving in with him already? They only started dating.”

  “We’ll get through it all. Allie’s an adult and can take care of herself. How are you doing, Mom?”

  “I keep busy. Distraction gets me through the days, but I’m lonely,” she admitted. “I never thought I’d lose him so soon.”

  “Yeah.”

  Gretta got up from the table and rubbed her daughter’s back for a moment. “You’re a good person, and you deserve a life, too. He’s a good man.”

  “Who?”

  Gretta looked at Hannah and arched an eyebrow. “I think you know who.”

  How did she know? Hannah smiled and peeled the rest of the vegetables.

  Chapter 6

  Early June brought a surprise snow storm. It fell fast and hard, and then was over as quickly as it had started. The weather was turning warmer, but like anything out here, you just never knew what to expect.

  After their unexpected kiss, time passed. They were tied into their own life issues. Hannah was helping at home, doing farm chores and trying to get Sarah to discuss her feelings. The school year was ending, and Sarah would be helping out around the farm more often.

  Sarah didn’t want to see a therapist, and refused to talk to her mother. She didn’t want to weigh her mom down with stuff about her dad. She was afraid it would dredge up Mom’s depression again. When Hannah first offered her a shoulder, she didn’t take her up on it, but slowly she started to talk to her more. She missed her father dearly, and couldn’t shake the loss like her sisters seemed to.
r />   At first Sarah buried herself in schoolwork, but it eventually caught up to her. She had a hard time grasping that her father wasn’t coming back. She missed him. They’d been close. As the baby in the family, she’d become a daddy’s girl. He’d softened with age, and found her antics amusing. She simply missed him and the bond they shared.

  The stages of grief were moving in slow motion. Hannah encouraged her to trust a therapist. Grief counselors were trained in these things and could help her get past the hurdle. Sarah promised to think about the option, but if kids at school found out she had to see a therapist, they’d call her out on it, thinking she was messed up.

  “It doesn’t matter what other people think. What’s important is taking care of what you need, what you want in your life. You need to stop worrying what other people are thinking.”

  As she spoke the words, the irony struck her. They were the very words she needed to hear.

  After her chores, Hannah cleaned up and hopped in her truck. Something stopped her. He hadn’t made contact with her since their kiss. Maybe he’d changed his mind. Weeks had passed and neither of them made the effort. She sat thinking. Finally, she got out of her truck and went back inside. She felt foolish for even thinking he’d still be interested. If he was, he’d have come by for sure.

  Walking back through the door, she found Maggie curled up with a book. “Hey, Mags.”

  “Hi.”

  “Are you free this weekend? I was thinking of doing something fun with Sarah. Maybe we can go riding, and just spend some time together?”

  “Sure.”

  “I’ll check in with Allie, see if she wants to go.”

  “Mom won’t ride anymore.”

  “Yeah,” Hannah sighed. “Getting back on the horse is the best medicine.”

  “You can ask, but you already know the answer.”

  “I have some morning chores, but after that, I should be good to go.”

  “That sounds good.” Her nose was back in her book. She’d already gotten absorbed again.

  Allie had plans with Richard, and Mom said she’d have breakfast with them, but she wasn’t getting back on a horse. It would be Hannah, Maggie, and Sarah.

  When the weekend rolled around, the family sat to eat breakfast together. Nobody saw it coming. Sure, she talked about it, but they were just words. Allie dropped the bomb. She was moving in with Richard at the end of the month. That didn’t go over well.

  The aftermath of breakfast was finally passing, and the day was a good one. It was something they all needed, to reconnect. The girls went riding, and finally made their way home. Sarah and Maggie decided to go find some ice cream, and Hannah settled in next to her mother, who was doing cross stitch.

  “We had fun. You should have come with us.”

  Her mother looked up. “I’m glad you girls spent time together. It’s nice for sisters to bond.”

  “Nice way to change the topic.”

  “Somebody came by for you earlier. I told them you’d be home later this afternoon.”

  “Oh?”

  “Some guy,” she said, “but not the right one.”

  “What?” She was confused. “Who’s the right one?”

  “Some boy from school you used to date.”

  “Oh.” She couldn’t hide the disappointment in her voice.

  “Why don’t you just go see him?”

  Hannah shrugged. “I thought maybe he’d come see me.”

  “Maybe there’s a reason he hasn’t.”

  “Is it weird? The two of us?”

  “The heart wants what the heart wants. I saw it the moment you interacted with him. As stubborn as you are, you still couldn’t hide your attraction.”

  Hannah flushed. “He’s dad’s friend.”

  “You’re a grown woman.”

  “You’d be okay with it?”

  “It’s not for me to say who you should fall in love with. Sometimes we don’t get to choose.”

  “Why haven’t you said anything?”

  “You’re like talking to a brick wall sometimes. I love you, but you’re a stubborn mule at times, dear.”

  Hannah smiled at her mother. “Thanks, Mom.”

  Nothing else needed to be said. Hannah stood and headed out the front door. There was somebody she had to talk to – somebody she had to see.

  When she knocked, he wasn’t there. She went out to the barn, and saw Ruby was gone. He was out riding. Should she wait? Maybe this was a mistake. She knew what she wanted, but what about him? Why didn’t he come to her? Would he find her too aggressive, just showing up again? As she was about to leave, he was walking Ruby back in.

  “Hannah!”

  “Hey.”

  “It’s so good to see you.”

  “Is it?” She didn’t mean for it to come out that way.

  “Yeah, it is. I’m sorry I haven’t stopped by or called.”

  “I kind of hoped you would.”

  “I know. I should have. I really dropped the ball there. After my sister’s accident, she went into rehab. I’ve been trying to sort through some life stuff. I didn’t want to drag you into it all.”

  “Is she okay?”

  “Yeah,” he smiled. “She’s doing well. She’s working the program, and really wants to get better.”

  “That’s great.”

  They walked into the barn together after Bryce watered Ruby. Slipping the saddle from her, he made a quick check of her hooves before grabbing a brush. They talked as he worked.

  Bryce looked to Hannah. “I’m going to just come out and say it… I find myself attracted to you. I don’t know how to rectify those thoughts. I’d like to be more than your friend, but don’t want to push you.”

  “I feel like a child sometimes when I’m around you, and yet, I’m an adult. You were friends with my father. It’s a weird thing. I keep trying to separate that, and then it tangles together again.”

  “Hannah, you’re all woman. You’ve grown up.”

  She blushed. “I’m glad you’ve noticed.”

  “How can I not? I find it hard to be a gentleman around you.”

  “What if I don’t want you to be a gentleman around me?”

  He looked at her, chemistry sizzling between them.

  “This is what I want,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

  Bryce moved toward her, desperately needing to hold her. Hugging Hannah tightly, he didn’t want to let go. She was his future. He was certain of it.

  Locked in an embrace, the couple looked at one another. The hunger in their eyes said what neither could put into words. There was a fire burning inside, a desire that needed to be satiated.

  Every time they got close enough to touch it, it evaporated with life interrupting. Could this time be different?

  Bryce was almost afraid to kiss her, afraid the moment would be stolen away once again. His fingers moved through her hair, gently stroking her silky locks. Unable to look away, he was mesmerized by her crystal blue eyes.

  “Kiss me,” she finally whispered, aching to feel his mouth on hers.

  Bryce lowered his head, his lips brushing softly against Hannah’s. Electricity ran through her body, feeling his mouth on her own. Parting her lips, tasting the man before her, she closed her eyes and got lost in the moment. The kiss grew more heated and Bryce’s hands moved across her back, touching, caressing. He forced himself to keep them above her waist. He wanted to reach down lower, to cup her bottom, to feel her soft curves in his hands, but used what little restraint he had.

  This was why he hadn’t been in touch with her. He knew that the very next time he laid his lips on her, he’d want to make passionate love. He hadn’t felt these kinds of feelings in a very long time, and once they bubbled up, it was hard to push them back down.

  Pulling away, he tried to tone things down. The fires of lust were burning inside of him, and she deserved more. She deserved a gentleman.

  “I want this, but I want to treat you as the lady that you are.�
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  Hannah smiled. She knew they’d gotten over the invisible hurdle they kept putting in front of them.

  Chapter 7

  Fourth of July meant the big regional fair was coming through. Most people went, but it was one place Bryce avoided. Ever since he’d lost his parents, it only brought back bad memories. Instead, he decided to take back the day and turn it into something better. Bryce asked Hannah out for dinner. They’d share a few moments and a meal. He hoped she was okay with missing the fair. They could still park nearby to see the fireworks later.

  They decided to keep things casual so it wouldn’t put too much pressure on the evening. Bryce chose a roadhouse tavern that served good steaks and massive potatoes to go with it. It wasn’t fancy, and you’d find a roll of paper towels on the table for napkins, but the booths were private and the crowd was comfortable. Settling into a booth at Snyder’s Steak and Brew House, they ordered a couple of longnecks and dinner.

  Most of the small towns around Saddle Brook were the same, a few dotted businesses on a strip of roadway, and if you wanted anything more than the usual, you needed to head into the city. They still had a fair share of small places to eat, if you were willing to drive a town or two over. There was always Hickory Grove and Oakridge, two other small nearby towns with their own cropping of small businesses. If you knew where to look, you’d find something. Out of town folk might drive by a place, but the locals knew where to stop.

  Snyder’s wood wasn’t highly polished, but the steak was cooked over a fire and seasoned just right. Nobody minded the scuffs on the floor, because the beer was cold and the food brought you back time and time again.

  Bryce looked at Hannah. She was lush, and had grown into a beautiful woman. She wore the slightest touch of make-up, but she didn’t need it. Her skin glowed, her hair shined, and Bryce Callahan thought she was gorgeous. Nature did well by her, and the man in him couldn’t help but notice. She was slender with soft curves, and when she spoke, her voice was confident and strong. She was her own person, not a wallflower that was afraid of the world. She took the bull by the horns, and wasn’t afraid to get dirty.

  She was the kind of woman he could see spending the rest of his life with. He hadn’t thought about a wife, kids, or much of anything before Hannah caught his attention. He’d been busy with life, doing his own thing, running his small ranch, and keeping Beverly out of as much trouble as possible. The kinds of thoughts he was having threw him a little, but once he got over the surprise, he embraced the feelings that were growing inside of him.