Headstrong Quarterback: A New Adult Sports Romance Read online

  “What?” He was obviously confused.

  I pointed to one of the second floor windows above the bar. “That’s home.”

  “Then I’ll walk you in,” he said. He turned off the bike’s engine.

  “It’s not necessary. I’m fine.”

  “I’ll walk you to our door,” he repeated. A gentleman, no doubt.

  “Whatever floats your boat.” I said, then quickly added, “You’re not coming in.”

  “Understood.”

  We went in the side entrance and climbed the stairs. The weathered wainscoting along the wall was in need of repair, and the white paint on the wall above it was now gray and brown from handprints, time, and not being cleaned in ages. The carpet on the stairs was covered in stains.

  Embarrassed, I walked forward like I didn’t care or didn’t notice. I was certain he would. I pointed to my door. “This is me.”

  “Can I come in? I have to take a leak.”

  Great, now I get to admit I don’t have a bathroom. “The bathroom’s over there,” I said pointing to the open door down the hall.

  He stood and waited for me to open my door.

  I sighed and unlocked the door. He hovered nearby. I went inside. He looked past me, over my shoulder and saw my mattress pushed in the corner, a beat up chest of drawers, shredded curtains and a blind with creased slats. It wasn’t pretty, but it was all I had. I was angry, ashamed. Now he knew my truth. I lived in a dump, and could barely afford this. I shot out, “Happy now?”

  Only he didn’t comment. He was too busy inspecting the lock on the door. “I’ll come back tomorrow and install a stronger lock. This won’t do.”

  “I can take care of myself,” I said. I resented the fact that he needed to play some superhero. “I don’t need your help.”

  “I’ll come back tomorrow with a stronger lock,” he repeated. Apparently, it wasn’t up for discussion.

  With that he headed down the hallway to use the bathroom. He knocked gently at the door before leaving. “Goodnight, Avery.”

  “Night,” I answered quietly. I closed the door and slid to the floor. Wrapping my arms around my knees, I tucked my head down. Embarrassed, I cried and let out my squished bits of ego, the last few that remained. I shouldn’t care what he thought, but I did.

  The next day, he came back with a lock, just as he’d stated. He installed it, double checked it, and then handed me the key. I wanted to thank him, but didn’t know how.

  Chapter 6 – Steel

  When I handed Avery the key, I couldn’t help but notice her shoulders. She pretended to be strong, this tough girl that could take care of herself, but she was scared. Something happened to her. She wore thick armor and a brick wall around her heart. She was a frail girl, trying to project anger so you didn’t notice her pain.

  I recognized her. I’d seen her in another girl I knew. My sister became the shell of herself after he… I growled with anger at the thought. Fucking bastard ex-boyfriend. He destroyed her. It took such a long time for her to find who she once was. Anyway, he stripped away her layers, and it felt like forever before I saw the sweet, sophisticated girl I knew and loved.

  When I learned what he did, I pummeled him. I took him to the edge of death, then stopped. I’d have killed him if she didn’t stop me. I only let him live so he could rot in jail.

  What he did to her… it makes my blood boil. No man, no god damn man has a right to take what isn’t theirs. Once he crossed that line, he forever scarred my sister.

  Every man has a code of ethics and knows what crosses the line. He didn’t care – he took what he wanted, demanded, and thought was rightfully his. Fucking asshole. Never again.

  I wondered what tore Avery apart, shredded her hope and dreams. Why had she accepted living that way, lost and afraid? It would be easier to walk away, easier to pretend I never saw the pain in her eyes, but I couldn’t. Something pulled me in. I wanted to take care of her, tell her it would be okay, and help her heal. She would be safe in my arms, and never be afraid.

  My sister is the spitting image of my mother. Lily’s the reason I didn’t take the big scholarship and stayed in Seattle. She’s the reason I live and breathe. My little sister was the happiest, most joyful soul I knew. After he raped and abused her, she rarely smiled. She lost her spark, lost the life in her eyes.

  She needed someone to protect her, make her feel safe. If I couldn’t help her, who could? I’d heard the rumors, was offered scholarships, but turned them all down. Family came first. I’d go into business, and tucked football aside. I’d play in the smaller league, but the thought of turning pro wasn’t in the cards. I needed to stay, be the rock that she needed, a shoulder to lean on. It was the right thing to do.

  It was Lily who convinced me to take the job with the Red Hawks. Enough time had passed, she said she was fine, and that she’d be crushed holding me back. She was ready to take on the world once again, and when I saw her smile I knew she’d be okay.

  I wondered if I’d ever see Avery smile.

  Chapter 7

  Football season was coming to a close, and without the Red Hawks making it into the playoffs, Steel’s schedule freed up. He would be their saving grace the following year, or so his coach hoped, but this year was a wash.

  He kept showing up. I didn’t ask him to, but he’d sit with me until I finished. It’s not like we were best buddies, but he sat silent as stone, watching over me like a hawk.

  The more I saw him, the more I wanted him – and the more I forced my wall tighter around me. I couldn’t bend and get soft over some good looking guy. He’d just leave when he got what he wanted. And what the hell did he want? Was I some kind of twisted challenge? He sat on the stool, waiting me out.

  Exasperated, I finally lamented, “What do you want from me?”

  “I just want to be your friend, Avery.”

  “Why? I’m not a good friend.”

  He shrugged, “I’d like to get to know you better.”

  “Do you realize how much time has passed? You obviously can’t read signals. I’m not interested.”

  “Yes you are. You’re just not ready yet.”

  I looked down at my shoes, afraid to talk. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready.”

  “Are you going to live caged up forever, never letting anybody in?” His voice was tender.

  I lifted my head, trying to look at him. “You’re trying to fix me, and I don’t need to be fixed.”

  He sighed. “I’m trying to love you, but you won’t let me close enough.”

  The word took me off guard. It was like a splash of cold water thrown on my face. “What, why?” I stammered. “You barely know me.”

  “I know that something pulls me back to this place time after time, because for some reason I want to be around you.”

  “You’re trying to rescue me, and I don’t want to be rescued.”

  “Give me a chance, that’s all I’m asking.”

  I forced myself to look into his eyes. “Why me? Why waste your time?”

  “I don’t see it as wasting time. I see it as waiting you out.”

  “Great, so now I’m some conquest. You think if you’re patient enough, I’ll suddenly fall into your arms?”

  Steel challenged me. “Why do you want to push me away? Why do you hate me without even knowing me?”

  I shot back, “Why do you like me without even knowing me?”

  We stared at one another, neither giving an inch. Only something cracked. For a second in time, I could see myself in his arms. Letting him hold me, letting him want me, feeling safe and protected – his persistence was wearing me down.

  “Give me a chance, Avery. I’ll be good to you.” It was a simple statement.

  I nodded quietly. We both knew what I wanted, but something kept standing in my way. The air was thick between us.

  “Go out with me tonight.” It wasn’t a question.

  I hesitated, then said it. “Okay.”

  “That’s my girl,” h
e said with a smile. “I’ll be back for you when your shift ends.”

  I watched him walk out. I was terrified, scared he would see how broken I was and realize it was a mistake to be interested in me. I’m not a whole person anymore. Who wants a shattered puzzle in their life?

  He showed up like he said he would. Following him outside, I was relieved to see his truck in place of his bike. Climbing into the large black SUV, I settled beside him, watching, waiting, not knowing what was next.

  “I thought we could go get some dinner.”

  I nodded and studied his profile. His jaw was defined, his cheekbones strong. He was a handsome man, and more than I deserved. I had no idea what he saw in me. Why did he want me?

  Pulling into the parking lot of the same all night diner we’d stopped at before, he commented. “Not a lot of places open are open this late.”

  “I’m used to it.”

  “If you let me take you out on a day off, we could try something else.”

  “Pancakes suit me fine.” I unbuckled and climbed out of the truck.

  He walked beside me and took my hand cautiously. His hands were massive, like giant bear paws. A simple touch, and my heart nearly leapt from my chest. There was no denying the attraction. I swallowed hard and said nothing.

  He let go of my hand to pull the door open, then followed behind me, his hand now resting on my shoulder. Electricity ricocheted through me as I quietly caught my breath.

  As much as I enjoyed him standing there, it sent me into a panic. Last time a man touched me, it was dirty. Only, this time it was desire that laced through my veins. I almost didn’t recognize it. I tried to shut it down, but I couldn’t. I wanted to be there with him.

  We sat and picked up our menus. I read mine, but he watched me instead. He no longer hid the fact that he wanted me. I was afraid to look into his eyes, knowing that I might very well melt into a puddle of bliss.

  I hid behind my menu, and tucked my chin down. He put his hand on the edge of my menu and gently pushed it down, so I couldn’t hide. I forced myself to look his way. A smile. He smiled at me and my heart raced. I felt like a schoolgirl, awkward and foolish. I pulled the menu back up to shield myself.

  Steel glanced over the specials and menu, then asked, “Pancakes, again?”

  “Probably,” I answered.

  Within a few minutes, the waitress stopped by and took our order. My shield was whisked away with her, and without the menu to offer me a veil of invisibility, I couldn’t hide.

  “I know the look in your eyes. The distant one. It’s pain, I get that. I promise I do, but I’m not trying to hurt you. You’re safe with me.” His sincerity was undeniable.

  “I’m not sure how to get past it anymore,” I admitted quietly.

  He reached over, looking for my hand. “You take one block of your wall down at a time. Each day, you let more light in.”

  I let him hold my hand. “What makes you an expert?”

  “Between my mom and my sister, I’ve had to figure a few things out.”

  I knew about his mother. I didn’t know he had a sister. “Your sister?”

  “She went through something,” he said, not filling in details.

  “I’m sorry.”

  When the food arrived, I was thankful for the break in tension. I could focus on the food. I squirmed in my seat, torn. On one hand, I wanted to bathe in Steel’s warm kisses. On the other, I wanted to run and hide; get the hell out of there. I wanted to rush home, throw my deadbolt on, and hide. And yet, his kisses… warm and wet, I knew they would be heaven.

  I wanted his touch, and yet feared it. I wasn’t afraid of Steel. I was afraid of my memories. I didn’t want to swim in the past and re-open a closed wound.

  We managed to find conversation about other topics. He spoke of the football team, Seattle, and I talked of school. It didn’t matter what words came out, the sexual tension was thick. His gaze lingered on me. I watched his lips as he spoke. The way he let his tongue lick the lower portion, almost daring me to taste him.

  He was confident, in charge of life. He knew what direction he was headed and seemed to have leadership qualities. Steel Brickman set the pace of those around him. He knew what he wanted and knew how to get it. This time what he wanted was me.

  After we finished, together we made our way to the parking lot. He reached down and took my hand. He offered an air of protection. I felt safe around him. He wasn’t the kind of guy you messed with. He owned his space and set the rules.

  We stopped in front of his truck. He lifted my hand to his soft, sweet lips and kissed my fingertips. I melted, then found the strength to climb into the truck. He closed the door behind me, then walked around to the other side. I needed to touch him, but that meant letting him touch me back.

  I wanted to slide my hands over his rippled and well-muscled body, one inch at a time. I wanted to slide my fingers over his stone-hard biceps, and wrap them around his chest, taste the saltiness of his neck, and so much more. I closed my eyes, trying to chase the image away. I hadn’t intended… I wasn’t ready. Or was I? I drew a deep breath as he climbed into the truck.

  Steel turned to me. “You up for a ride?”

  “Sure,” I had nowhere else to be. I trusted him to get me home safely. That was the thing, I trusted him… I just wasn’t sure I trusted myself.

  Classic rock played quietly in the background.

  As he drove, he asked, “Who hurt you?”

  “Too many people.” I stared out the window into the dark night.

  He tried again. “Will you tell me?”

  I wasn’t ready. “I don’t think I can.”

  “Have you told anyone?”

  “The people I told shut me down. Why would I put myself through that again?”

  His voice was soft. “You can talk to me.”

  “I barely know you.”

  “You don’t have anyone else left, do you?” he asked.

  I choked on my words, hearing the last question. “It’s more than you want to hear.”

  “I can handle it, Avery. I’ve got big shoulders.” He pulled the car into the parking lot of a grocery store that was closed for the evening.

  “My step-brother,” was all I could get out.

  I saw the vein in his temple move. His face showed nothing else. “What did he do?”

  “He raped me. Pinned me to the wall and forced himself on me.” I finished. “I can’t do this.”

  His knuckles went white. He gripped the steering wheel, as if it would cage the anger growing in him. His jaw clenched. He sneered. “That bastard. I’ll kill him.”

  I sucked air, not sure what to make of his reaction. It was stronger than I expected.

  “And your parents?” he asked, wanting more information.

  “What parents?” I said, making my point. “They didn’t believe me. Called me a liar, even though it happened right in their home, last Thanksgiving. I cried, screamed, they…never mind. They’re dead to me.”

  “It took my sister about two years to feel whole again,” he said quietly. “She went through something similar with a guy. He abused and raped her.”

  “I’m so sorry,” I offered. It didn’t feel like enough. “Did you hurt him?”

  “Yeah, but I stopped before I killed him, if that’s what you’re asking.”

  I didn’t know what to think, what to say, but I couldn’t look away.

  He took me home, but I didn’t want to get out of his car. I felt safe, warm, and protected. Being around him made me feel better. I had no idea what he saw in me, or why he wanted to be here, but I was starting to appreciate it.

  “I won’t pressure you,” he started, “but when you’re ready, I’d like to kiss you.”

  This guy must have slept with dozens of women in his life, but he’s waiting, just waiting to kiss me. It felt weird, yet insanely flattering. He asked my permission. It was the oddest feeling. I wanted to fall into his arms, but I couldn’t.

  I was afraid if I
kissed him one, just once, I wouldn’t stop myself… and I wasn’t ready for more.

  Chapter 8

  Steel walked me upstairs. He didn’t push me, and let me have my space. After saying goodnight, he headed back to his truck. I could still smell his scent lingering; the sultry, musky cologne filled my nostrils. I wanted to reach out to him, to feel his arms around me, to feel his comfort and strength… Would he make the pain go away if I kissed him? I kicked myself for not stopping him from leaving.

  Somehow, he’d dismantled a few bricks in my wall.

  I closed my door and locked it, wishing I wasn’t such a basket case.

  The loud knock startled me.

  “Who is it?” I went into defense mode. I couldn’t help myself.

  He answered, his head close enough to the door, that I could almost hear him breathing. “It’s me.”

  I swallowed hard and unlocked the door. I opened it and peeked up at him. Our eyes met and lingered in a hungry gaze.

  “I wasn’t ready to leave,” he said.

  I nodded and stepped back, letting him inside.

  His deep voice resonated within me. “Can I hold you?”

  He wrapped his massive arms around my body. I buried my head against his chest and closed my eyes. It wasn’t scary. It was nice. There was safety in his arms. A quiet strength that told me he was there for me. It cradled me saying, ‘Nothing bad is going to happen.’

  I didn’t want the moment to end. I didn’t care that we were in my crappy room. Normally, I’d be ashamed. I just didn’t care. I only wanted to be in his arms. I was weary. I’d been alone for so long.

  He slipped his hand under my chin and tipped it up. No words were spoken. He simply looked at me. It was a long, heated exchange. After what felt like years, he brushed his lips against mine, soft and tender.

  “Sleep well,” he said, then turned to leave.

  “Don’t go,” I squeaked out. I didn’t want to be alone, not after feeling so safe in his arms.

  Steel looked at me. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes,” I whispered. There was nowhere for him to sit. I didn’t have a chair. I only had my mattress and dresser, and not much more. My nightstand was an old milk crate flipped upside down. That’s where I kept my laptop. There was no fancy light fixture, there was a single bare bulb that hung from the ceiling.